Lesley Seacrist's Online Portfolio

By Lesley Seacrist

Every day at Disneyland there is always that one jackass kid or adult who wants to fake a disability to skip to the front of the line.

Well, for one day I decided to be that jackass to see if the urban myth of faking an impairment and wheeling around would let me experience the Thunder or Magic Mountain any more sooner than those walking suckers.
This is what I humbly learned in the Magic Kingdom and trust me, it’s a good lesson.

I assume people who utilize wheelchairs get used to all the horrible details. They put on gloves to protect from the dirt and burns, they become patient for the people who push them haphazardly, and they deal and maneuver around poorly designed structures and sidewalks.

But for me, who doesn’t everyday think about the pain and hassle of wheeling until I am sitting in a Disneyland wheelchair in Frontier Land thinking seriously about pushing those wheels into the “Nile” of the Jungle Cruise and losing my 20-dollar deposit. It just sucked. I was in pain, and at the end of the day I give many props to those who just got their wheels and are making it happen.

My patience was gone, my hands looked like a tiger, and I vow never to try to fake a disability, because that is just stupid in the first place. And I was about to slap hella fools who either wouldn’t get out of the way or were ready to push me into Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse or one of the many princesses.

Even my friends who thought it was going to be an all access ride began grumbling about having to push me everywhere and how I wasn’t quick enough wheeling on my own. It isn’t my fault that I have little upper body strength. Seriously, my arms began burning on even a small incline, while my friends were at least 20 feet ahead of me. Were they ditching me based on speed, or how dumb I looked trying to steer the thing?

It takes some time getting used to turning the wheelchair around, learning the directions or braking— not to mention at the same time telling people to “pardon me” a million times. I would stop in my tracks and thought real hard how to turn my ass around. And then to have to look around frantically to see where my friends were again.

During the day near the submarine ride I rolled into someone from the past that I wanted to stay in the past. I panicked and improvised how to get on the other side of the park in a flash. Thinking that my friend was pushing me on my command, I found myself barreling down a steep slope all by myself. I looked behind to see what the hell she was doing, and finding out that I was all alone. Bad news was I saw a small girl about five feet in front of me, I did the only thing natural— I latched onto those wheels with so much force. I apologized for almost running over her child and checked out the damage on my hands. The rubber created ridiculous burns and my ego was also burned with embarrassment.

Disneyland caters to those with disabilities as much as they can consider that the park was made when disability rights were locked up in an institution somewhere. They are a billion katrillion zillion dollar corporation, they are on top of things and will cater to anything, down to an employee who follows you around. Hearing, eye, mobility, developmental, if you need extra considerations, they have a way to make it the happiest place for everyone.

However, most of the rides aren’t wheelchair accessible because they were constructed in the fifties. Their solution? Just go into the exit to another line at the beginning of the ride. It does suck because as you are wheeling through the exit, you have to fight through all the people exiting the ride. And I don’t know what is wrong with people having fun, but they are in a hurry and would rather run into the wheelchair than pass around me or wait a goddamn second. Peter Pan will still be there after I go by…

Each time I was about to board the Indiana Jones ride or my favorite Pirates of the Caribbean, a Disneyland employee always asked me if I can get on the ride by myself. Thinking back I should have said no, to see what would have happened, whether they would have picked me up and put me in the ride, but I guess I am a little bit shy and told them yes I could get in without help. However, it seemed like if someone needed a lift, someone would have given it.

Everyone is always there to give you help, whether or not you really want it. My friends tried to help me by pushing me around everywhere, which turned out to be my least favorite part of the day.

It is like being in the car with a drunk driver, swerving to and fro, praying to God I wasn’t going to ram into that woman with her stroller. Constantly, I would be apologizing or screaming “STOP” before I went B-line into the ankles of the unassuming. Ultimately, all I could do is cringe into myself with little whimpers of, “slow down”, “watch out” and “their ankles,” my patience were thinning out that I started getting off and walking around, frustrated to the point of leaving the park.

Wait, I forgot the important question. Do you get on the ride any quicker if you have a disability? Yeah, you do. They make you wait a little while, but never an hour or 45 minutes. And the line is better to wait in unless there is an annoying crying baby in a stroller.

However, for me the able jackass, I became as salty as Scar from the Lion King and hope never to do it again, and willing to leave the park with a good learning experience and a Donald Duck keychain.

Before making your next trip, check out Disneyland Guest Services online.

If you have a travel story, please share it with Fulcrum Magazine.

Featured Article

Ellen Barnard,
co-owner of A Woman’s Touch

Sex without Bounds
By Lesley Seacrist

Sex is supposed to be good, done often and limitless. And that goes for everyone, including those who fit into the disability spectrum. Those who don’t believe that there is a solution to sexual hurdles don’t know whom to ask. Let me introduce you to someone who knows the answers.

Ellen Barnard holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and co-owns A Woman’s Touch, a sex boutique in Wisconsin that focuses on a woman’s need for pleasure. She is also a sex educator and sex positive activist. Ellen spent 15 hardworking years supporting people with developmental disabilities, and helping them find a way to live in their own homes in their community. And she also has some important sex solutions for people with disabilities.

What would be your first piece of advice for a disabled person who is discouraged about having sex ?
It is discouraging sometimes! We are surrounded by images of temporarily able-bodied people having great sex, and lots of it, and we never see anything (or read or hear) that reflects the reality of how people with disabilities can enjoy healthy and rewarding sex lives. So the first thing to do is to understand that any frustration on your part is not your fault, nor is it the fault of your disability. The truth about sex and sexuality that no one talks about is that sex is an infinitely variable experience for all of us. Almost no one has sex the way it’s portrayed in books, movies or TV. Most of us struggle with awkwardness, with the need to get to know our bodies and what gives us physical pleasure, and then finding ways to put that knowledge into action.

What are some of the stereotypes that revolve around people with disabilities and sex?
[Some stereotypes are] that people with disabilities are not sexual – somehow a change in either physical or mental ability means no interest in sex! That people with disabilities cannot enjoy sex. Very far from the truth, but since so many people equate sex with intercourse, if you look like you cannot have intercourse, then folks assume you can’t have sex at all. That people with spinal cord injuries can’t have orgasms (they often can, depending on the injury, and depending on how they re-map their pleasure zones). That people with cognitive disabilities aren’t interested in sex, or are hyper-interested in sex.

What is behind some of the theories of why people with disabilities are thought to be asexual?
I think that anyone who doesn’t fit our society’s narrow version of what is “attractive” and “normal” runs the risk of being seen as asexual. Then throw in a change in how the body functions, and most people just figure that people with disabilities are too busy being “disabled” to think about, or want, sex.

Some of the props that can be useful for people with disabilities

What spectrum of disabilities affects sex? Does that include mental disabilities?
Since everything that goes on in our bodies and mind will affect our sexual experiences, it’s not really possible to specify which disabilities affect sex. That’s why it’s better to think about sex as an individual experience, with infinite variations, so that you can say to yourself “this is how my body works, this is what my mind does with information, this is what I like, and this is what good sex is to me”. Now, many of us will say “this is what good sex is to me” and we might be setting a standard that is impossible to reach with the way our bodies and mind work in real life, so it is important to aim for something realistic.

Are there any disabilities that might make sex impossible for an individual?
It depends on your definition of sex. If you define sex as penis-in-vagina intercourse, then yes, there are going to be some disabilities that would make this impossible. However, if you define sex as a variety of pleasurable activities that range from genital stimulation (in the many ways that can happen) to fantasizing, to breath-gasms (breathing that results in a state similar to the experience of orgasm), pretty much anyone can enjoy some kind of sex in their lives.

What do you think is the most important for someone with a disability to think about when it comes to sex?
Not to think too much about your disability! If you have the mindset that sexual pleasure and happiness is individually determined, then what you will be thinking about is, “What do I need and want to have a pleasurable experience?” I know it’s a different way to think for many of us – many people have sex like automatons, without a lot of thought or planning. This works OK for a few people, but not very well for most, and certainly not well for those of us who have different needs for positioning, added stimulation, or variations in timing or how we approach arousal and sex play.

So the most important thing is to know and love yourself, know what your body likes, and learn to communicate that clearly. Don’t be afraid to use toys and positioning aids to help you get the most pleasure out of your intimacy. And remember that good intimacy is a lot more than just sex that leads to orgasm. True intimacy is closeness and vulnerability that you are able to feel with another person, and the ability to be fully present during those very vulnerable moments. Orgasms are wonderful, but only one aspect of sex and intimacy.

For more hints and suggestions or sexual products, check out www.a-womans-touch.com

To ask Ellen a specific question, send emails to questions@fulcrum-magazine.net